I'm so sorry for the lack of posts. I really wanted to post every couple of days, but my computer has been down for almost the last week. I'm not comfortable writing on my mobile because I sometimes have a lot to say. So what's been going on in the last week?
Well, two days ago I finally made an appointment for G to have his semen analysis done. I'm not sure why I've put it off for so long. He saw the doctor almost a month ago and was told to make it asap. I have a few theories for why I put it off though. One of them is that I'm scared to know the reasons why we aren't getting pregnant. If I don't know 100% if G is making sperm or not then I don't have to deal with the consequences. As long as I don't know, I can pretend everything is fine. We can keep doing what we're doing. If we find out G isn't making sperm then I know that we'll never pass on his genes. That scares me. G is one of the most wonderful men I have ever met. He deserves to have a little mini G, but he might never get that opportunity.
The second theory is that if G is making sperm, that means the problem is me. I already know that I am at least contributing to the problem since I haven't had a period in almost three months, but it would be all my fault. The blame for me not getting pregnant would be me. It would mean that I would never be pregnant, and I would never have biological children. To me, that would be the very worst thing in the world. Obviously, I know that there are much worse things out there, but not for me. If I weren't able to get pregnant, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Ever since I was a little girl, I always dreamed about being pregnant and having kids. I have always wanted to be surrounded by children, and I don't even want to imagine my life without kids in it. I have always had children in my life in some form, and I always want them in my life. I can't have it be all my fault.
Something else that's been happening is that I finished reading the book It Starts with the Egg by Rebecca Fett. It was actually quite interesting. It was all about how to make your eggs better in order to increase your chances of getting pregnant either naturally or through IVF. It talked about reducing your exposure to BPA, phthalates, and other toxins while at the same talking about taking vitamins and supplements. All of the information was taken from over 500 studies from around the world. It was really interesting, and I learned a lot. I'll write a proper review of it soon.
We saw my brother in law, sister in law, and niece this weekend. That was fun! My sister in law and I met when we did a semester in England, and we went on a trip through memory lane. It was nice to be able to spend time together without my niece. As much as I love her, it was great to spend time with my sister in law. We also got to finalise plans for Easter. We're going to visit our parents in law and our other brother and sister in law. They live in pretty much the same town so we're all going to go down there. I'm not sure if we're going in the same car or not (apparently babies need a lot of stuff), but we still have a couple of weeks to figure out all the small details like that. G keeps telling me we don't have to go, but I know we do. My mother in law would be so hurt if we didn't go down so we must go. I can't be the bad daughter in law. I know I'm the least favourite so I have to try harder than the other two. At least, I'm the favourite with my father in law. He really likes spending time with me which is kind of nice.
We also worked in the garden. I might start writing some posts about what's going on in my garden.I can post lots of pictures and tell you what I'm doing. I may not be able to grow a baby (yet), but I can grow some broccoli!
I've also been working on a new blanket for Maybe. I learned how to crochet almost two years ago, and I haven't really put my hook down since. I might share some of my crochet stuff too. There's usually something going on there.
Well, I think that's enough for now. What have you all been doing?
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