Hi,
So it's been more than a while since I last posted in here. So what's going on with me?
Not a whole lot is the short answer.
We still have no babies. I'm still fat but not quite as much. I have actually managed to lose a grand total of 52 pounds since I last posted in here. Most of which I lost with Weight Watchers. We now qualify for IVF on the NHS, and we were actually referred just before Christmas.
I was reading back through some of my old posts, and I was so naive. That girl still had so much hope and optimism. Now that we are actually where we've been wanting to get to, I'm not sure there is any real joy left. It feels like we've been left shattered by all the hard things life has thrown at us.
The oldest sister in law is pregnant again for the third time. My younger sister in law has two now. The second of which was an accident.
I am really extremely mad at the older sister in law right now too. She thought it was appropriate to announce her third pregnancy through a text while my husband and I were at a wedding! She even started the text saying that she hoped we were enjoying our time in Newcastle. Even if she didn't know we were at a wedding, she knew we were away to enjoy ourselves. She knows all about the journey we've been on too. I told hubby to speak to his brother. It took two weeks and a lot of tears to finally convince him to do it, but he did. Then his brother says to me, "Sorry if it made you sad." If it made me sad?! What did you think was going to happen? I was going to jump up and down in joy that in the time it's taken us to just have the opportunity to have one, you're going to have a third? Not to even mention the fact that I saw his wife have information about pregnancy up on her laptop, and she lied to me about it. Whatever. She's on her own now. I will try to forgive her, but I know I'll never forget what she did.
I know I shouldn't dwell on events in the past. There's nothing I can do to change what's happened. In fact, I know there are better things to come for me because God has promised it. I just have to remember that.
Sorry this is such a negative post. I just wish people who know about our journey would use their heads before speaking or writing. I'm down another friend due to infertility, and I'm ok with that. Remember if someone can't support you on your journey, you don't need them in your life. Yes, it's good to have friends, but you don't need ones that cause you to break down instead of building you back up.
