I know I'm partly to blame for this. I know that if I could just lose the weight, I would be able to be referred back to the RE, and I did really try. I saw the weight falling off, and I was so happy about it. Then, I fell off the wagon. One of my dearest friends came to visit from America, and I didn't think one week could do so much damage when I'd been doing so well previously. I didn't think one week could cause me to completely destroy almost all of the hard work I'd been doing, but it did. In just one week, I gained 3kg (~6.5pounds). In one week! I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw that! You would think that this would quickly get me back into the routine of tracking my food with my Weight Watchers app. You'd be so wrong if you did though! It's over a month later, and I have just started tracking again. I do mean just started again. As in, I started tracking some of the things I ate yesterday while not really tracking everything because the chocolate was so good. Oh well. All I can do is try again today.
Having said that though. On Wednesday, I had gotten up to 106.2kg. When I weighed myself this morning, I was at 105.1 so I have managed to lose some weight this week. Although, my endocrinologist said that it's normal for weight to fluctuate by as much as a kilo each day so it could mean nothing, but it could also mean everything. It means that tomorrow I could be at 104.something or be back up to 106.something. I'm hoping for the first one.
My hope for this week is to be back at 103.something by Wednesday. If I can do that, I'll be a happy girl because it'll mean that I'm almost back to where I was before my friend came. I'm not blaming her at all because I could've made different choices if I had really wanted to, but I chose not to. I know what foods I shouldn't be eating and which foods I should. I could've chosen to have some chicken and salad instead of the fish and chips I had. I could've chosen to have water when we went out for dinner instead of the three large lemonades I had. Shoot. I could've chosen water instead of the bottle of wine I had one night. Or the two bottles I had by myself to celebrate the 4th of July. I could've made a lot of different choices, but I didn't. I chose to put those things in my body, and now I'm dealing with the repercussions. I don't regret any of it though. I'm happy I got to spend the time with a very good friend. I'm glad I now have some (fuzzy) memories of a great week with an even better friend.
The weight that I'm at doesn't bother me. If it wasn't for the fact that I can't have IVF at this weight, I probably wouldn't bother with trying to lose weight at all. I just need to keep reminding myself of my goals. I need to keep reminding myself of where I started and where I'm headed. Yes, I may have been at 106.2 yesterday morning, but I'm down a kilo today. I didn't go back to where I started. I have made improvements, and I have to keep improving. So today instead of the hot dogs I'm currently craving, I'll have some egg noodles and vegetables. Tonight, I'll have some chicken and salad.
I just have to remember that in the end it'll be so worth it when I'm putting up my pregnancy announcement on Facebook.
