Mother's Day

Yesterday was Mother's Day in the UK. This is the day that we are supposed to be thankful for our mothers. I am so incredibly thankful and blessed and about a million other words for my mom. She really is the best mom I could ever have. However as a woman who wants to be a mom so bad, Mother's Day is an incredibly hard day.
All day long, I saw moms pushing their babies in prams and adult children going to visit their moms. Since my mom is in the US and I'm in the UK, I didn't have anybody to go visit. That's not what made it so hard though. Watching all those women with their babies walking reminded me of everything I don't have. I don't have a baby to dress up in the clothes I just bought. I don't have a kid who is dependent on me for anything. I don't have a small warm child sleeping in a basket. Although this is an incredibly romanticised version of what it is to be a parent, I don't have that. All I have is an empty womb and an empty room. I have baby clothes that may never be worn and a blanket that may never be used.
Depsite all of this, I have to keep on going. I have to keep applying for jobs. I have to keep cleaning the house. I have to keep exercising . I have to keep living living my life so that when I do have my baby, I can be the mom I truly want to be.
I'm not going to lie though. I did have a break down and cry after watching through the window all the people going by with their children. I cried and G had to comfort me. He always tells me that we'll get there. It's easier to believe him sometimes than to get upset. I had a nice long cry about it though.
So what did G and I do instead of celebrating Mother's Day? After my little break down, we went to Homebase and bought some flowers for the garden and went grocery shopping. It was nice being out and about without all the people and kids. I think I saw only one child the whole time we were shopping. It was very nice.
Also, my tomato seedlings are slowly dying. Anybody have any advice on making my seedlings grow nice and big? Thanks!